Relationship/ Friendship
And just like that, it no more.
What happened? God, What happened? We were the happiest, weren’t we? or was that an illusion? Where did I go wrong? How did this happen? ....The questions go on and on. But these are just some of the questions that many of us are left with when relationships go down hill and most times we have to guess the answers or they just remain unanswered. Sometimes things are just not meant to be and then on the other hand we just needed a reality check because we was living in wonderland. Too many of us worry about what others will say about our relationships so we just smile and hide behind the fictitious perfect relationship we have put in front of our imperfectly flawed relationship, which by the way is NO different from the next. All things go.Yenye mwanzo hayakosi mwisho.
Gone are the days when boys and girls would turn their noses up to the opposite sex because of childhood fears like cooties (parasite, new word) or just simply because they just wasn’t interested in anything other than a friendship (if that). Nowadays it seems like the younger generation is becoming more sexual sooner, in hopes of gaining the attention of the opposite & in some instant same sex. Because of this, heartache starts younger causing a vicious cycle of promiscuity in an attempt of feeling wanted, feeling loved. At their tender age they don’t know that there are more fish in the sea, they don’t know that life goes on. I can think back on when I was younger and I had my heart broken, I didn’t think that I would get over it, hell if anything I felt like my life was coming to an end. And it is at that point were the cycle begins.
Gone are the days when your relationship was YOUR relationship. Social media, society and music has changed the way we live our lives. I remember when people wouldn’t dare broadcast their relationship details because they didn’t want to be judged or simply because they didn’t want people in their business. Then came Facebook, BB Messenger, Whatsapp, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat (insert what I missed). Our privacy went out the window years ago. I guess we started to feel like maybe if we put it all out there someone/they will notice and actually ask the question–what’s wrong? Maybe they will actually try to fix it. It was a not so silent cry, well that is my opinion on it anyway.
*******
Things come and go, nothing is permanent, even life itself. People will come into your life for a reason and maybe only stay for a season or two. I know that when things are looking up and going well we want them to stay forever but let’s be real here–none of us really know how long forever is. To us, forever means “until the end of time”, until we take our last breath. As I think about it now, I think that we set ourselves up for disappointment. Nothing in this is world is promised. We are all human, we are imperfect. To expect that everything is going to go as planned is crazy, but we all do it. No matter what the relationship is, it is no guarantee that it will last for your definition of forever.
A friend of mine said this to me the other day; “The worst part about all of this is starting over”. Starting over from scratch with someone new is the hard part of a break up. Sometimes it is at that moment of realization when you are faced with the question if moving on is the right choice or trying to work it out. When you have been with someone for so long it feels as if you have to learn to walk all over again, almost as if your balance is gone. Looking at it like that I can understand why people stay in their relationship/situation ship.
Being on the outside we may judge it and feel like they are stupid to stay but we don’t know what their reason is for them choosing to stay and we never know how we would react if we was in the same position.Things go. The reality of it is that not everything last. I am not saying that your relationship/friendship would come to an end, but maybe the little things that are needed to hold the relationship together have started to fade. Longevity in relationships can sometimes save it but it would need the help of the two people in the relationship. Take your relationship back, no matter what type of relationship it is, if it means anything to you fight for it. Having the title of girlfriend, fiance, husband, wife, friend or friend doesn’t mean that the relationship is safe from harm, you still need to work at it. If it isn’t meant to be and your season has come to an end then smile that you had the time together. Life is not promised, live for you and not at the approval of others.
Live for your own smile.
