FRIENDS....Who doesn't need them?

"True friends are like diamonds – bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style." ―Nicole Richie

Its not Friday, I know but God knows I had to write this today or else I would not go to bed a happy person to night. Someone told me once, she's keeping her circle small cause she is fed up of many shit in her life, I bet majority of us think that way. The smaller the circle, the less shit you get. I personally don't believe in that say. I believe in "The larger your circle the more you get to learn & appreciate people/ friends in your life."Before I go on, I would like to thank everyone family, relatives & friends who made my aunt's journey to be peaceful, I couldn't ask for much. May she rest in haevenly Peace.

As much as you would like to keep your circle smaller, I believe we are allowed to welcome every individual in our lives & make them part of us & let the say "If it meant to be, it will" prevail.This saying isn’t just for intimate relationships it is also applicable for friendships. I know that it is comforting to know that you have a friend or friends to turn to when the weight of the world becomes too heavy for you to carry on your shoulders alone. There is nothing more reassuring than when you are in need of a pick me up or you just need a listening ear and you know that you can turn to your friends. Great feeling isn’t it? But what happens when they aren’t there when you truly need them or better yet when they are ONLY there for the down times but never for the good. There is nothing like friends…right? Question, are your friends really there for you?

True friendship in my opinion is hard to come by and if by chance you are lucky enough to experience it, hold onto it. I have friends in my life that I have known for years that I know for a fact that if I needed them I could contact them and cry or laugh for hours with, and no judgment will be passed. Today we don’t seem to know the real definition of a friend, but that could be because we are all different and all of our definitions of a friend tend to be slightly different. If that is the case the foundation of a friend still remains the same–someone who is there for you and is honest, open and trustworthy.

I know that we have all been a bad friend once or twice maybe even three times, cause am not miss perfect, but if we learn from our mistakes that we can move forward. I look at social media and want the “movie like” friendships that I see being posted on my timeline, but maybe I am not supposed to have it. Yes, I am still human and I may feel jealous at times but I am learning to be grateful for the friends that I do have. I am learning that I don’t need to speak to people on a daily basis to have them as a friend. We all have a life to live, we get older, have careers, families and just daily life to deal with. No matter the reason for the distance that shouldn’t deteriorate your friendship if it was real to begin with.

Are your friends only there when things seem to be falling apart? When the sun is out is it only your shadow that seems to be there? Some people tend to be only around for your low points because that makes them feel as if their life is better than yours and they feed off of your low and weak points. When the sun is shining on you they feel like they are standing in your shadow. People like this are the ones who gossip about you behind your back to all of their friends. They are the ones whose life isn’t going the way they want it to be which is why they only come around when your down because they look like they have their shit together–they are a leech and feed off you for energy.

I have had my share of f*cked up friendships ( sorry for that, I couldn't come up with another phrase). I have also been a bad friend before and got caught up, however I have learned that those who gossip with you will gossip about you. I have learned that surrounding myself with negative people who claim to be my friends and don’t add anything to my life are not my friends at all. I have had to distance myself from a good bit of people whom I thought were my friends, some have come back and some haven’t. Despite this I don't keep my circle small, I open room for new friendship. Some I have ended up family zoning them cause they are more than friends know.

So, how do you know if your friends are really there for you?

If you have to ask that question, then chances are you already know the answer. You shouldn’t have to beg for friends. You shouldn’t feel like you are walking on eggshells with someone whom you divulge all of your secrets to. Yes, there will be little arguments, that is all normal, in fact, I would say if you didn’t have any then I would question if you are being yourself. If your friend has your back through good and bad, rain or sunshine then I say you have nothing to worry about.

My opinion is this: friends come and go. Friends are the family you choose and your relationship with each other will not be perfect however it should be real. The second you question it then you need to make a decision about whether or not you are going to take a break and see if it comes back or wave bye and be glad that you had it while it lasted. I know it may sound a little harsh but I do believe that what is meant to be will be and sometimes distance can give you the answer you need, so if you need to let it go to see if they find their way back then do what you need to. True friends never go too far and distance will never affect your friendship.

As I finish I would like to wish my dear friend Mercy Ruth Achy a Happy belated birthday, you are growing young love, may God bless you & His favors follow you for the rest of your life. You are loved by me of course. Xo

" With every true friendship, we build more firmly the foundation on which peace of the whole world rest"- Mahatma Gandhi