Cancer Of Wanting
So here I am trying to compose myself, am not feeling well physically & emmotinally, but my spiritual side is very alive which is a good thing cause it keeps me going. Hot coco check, headphones check. As am still composing myself Selena Gomez "The heart want what it wants."is what I hear.Is there some truth in that? that's a post for another day.
How do you plea, in the case of the Art Of Wanting?
The art of wanting is like a cancer. It will drain you mentally, physically and emotionally. It will cause you to be a fiend and offer up your very soul just to feel some form of affection and want. And once you’ve given all that you thought you could give you will eventually surrender yourself as an individual because in your mind you’ve already given every other part of you anyway.
How many of us would be guilty of the above question?So many of us feel as if we are nothing or our life is somehow less important because we don’t have thatspecial someone who wants us. Too often women and men fall victim to the wanting cancer.
As I go through my timeline on many social media I always come acrosss hashtags like #WCW, #WCE, #MCM, #MCE and it is things like this that can put pressure on us and also make us feel like we are missing out.To make you feel good, I personally since this trend started I don't think I have ever been anyones #WCW but do I look pressued, no way.The awkward feeling of being left out can cause us to do things that we wouldn’t usually do. When this trend first started I only saw one or two posts, but now it is as if every week more and more people are posting and revealing their #WCW, #WCE, #MCM, #MCE. Everyone seems to be deeply in love or getting in new relationships or just posting cute couple pictures. I can see how daunting this can be for those who are single and want to feel wanted and loved.
"Why not me?, Don't I dress to kill, don't I have swag????"I am sure many of us have had this conversation with ourselves, feeling perplexed as to why we wasn’t being gifted with the man/woman that we could show off to the world.
Earth to you my dear, OUR RELATIONSHIP DOESN’T DEFINE WHO YOU ARE. I know that when you are single it is very hard to listen to the advice that you give to your friends because you feel as if you are different from them or that he/she is different from your friends he/she. Whichever way you look at it and whatever excuse you choose to use, you need to understand that being single is not a punishment nor is it a curse.
I used to feel like i would die early cause I was single & 90% of my friends were in relationships.
That is when I woke up & gave myself a very hard slap on both my cheeks ( painful thing don't try) And that is when I realized "All that Glitters, Is Not Gold"just because something looks perfect or flawless doesn’t mean that it isn’t being held together with clear tape that can’t be seen from your distance but when you take a closer look you will see the flaws. The cancer of wanting distorts our views and way of thinking. We start to think that changing little things about ourselves will make us more appealing and irresistible and they will all of a sudden want us. We think that having “the ring” means that we have won the grand prize, that having their baby will put us on a pedestal higher than the rest, that all of the waiting you’ve been doing for them will pay off. Truth is, it doesn’t always happen that way.
We can't settle for less than what we deserve and then convince ourselves with a serious face that it will work out the way that we want. So many of us give and give and give more of ourselves until the only thing left to give is our core and all for the hopes of being wanted in the way that we want them. We become blinded by appearances and those sweet nothings that we continue to hold on because we become their baby and when we cry they give us a pacifier and pat our back making us feel like it is all going to be ok. We are too blind to see that we are just being quieted not rewarded.
How much of yourself are you willing to sacrifice for an emotional cancer that is eating you alive?
Uing the word cancer may be a bit harsh but I beg to differ. Wanting someone or something so bad will literally change who you are until you no longer recognise your own reflection in the mirror. You will surrender more and more of who you are all in an attempt of feeling wanted. When you realise that there isn’t anything left of you to give what do you do then?
Being in a relationship doesn’t make you who you are neither does being wanted by a person. You have your own identity and that is defined solely by you. If you are single right now and even if you are in a relationship or just courting, take the time that you feel you need to find out who you are as an individual. Don’t lose yourself at the expense of a relationship or the art of wanting. All these #MCM and #WCW are nothing that you need to compete with. Being a girlfriend, wife, baby mama or fiancé doesn’t guarantee happiness or a sense of fulfilment or even eternity, it is merely a status.
The art of wanting is like a cancer. It will change you if you relinquish who you are in attempt to feel wanted. Don’t base the meaning of your life around a status that can change in the blink of an eye.
If it was meant to be it will be. What God put together let no man separate. Prayers do work let God do His work, as for you & me let just seek Him more.
Don't forget it's pink month make sure you go & test, & donate to any Cancer Foundation to assist those in fight for a better tommorow, Bless someone today. Together we can defeat Cancer.
Xo- Be Blessed
